Thursday, November 08, 2012

melismata desiderata


“She would have drowned herself long ago if she had not had me; that’s the truth. She doesn’t do that because, perhaps, I am more dreadful than the water.” –Dostoeyevski, The Idiot

Or do you not think so far ahead? -Frank Ocean

It’s somewhere past 11 p.m. and so purple out,
the machistas in full machismata
to live the cruciallest lives in Detroit,
Channel Orange rolling in and out the windows
over the wither streets and gas stops
when you confess it all so strange:
I’ve still never been with anybody
smarter than me, why, why
so you reach for cigarette after cigarette
using only your eyes, seeing it
as if never seeing, like, what the fuck—
from a woman so otherwise at ease
with her melismas of despair,
Motown melisma melismata desiderata,
a soundtrack to a movie called
“God Help Me That I’ve, Me, Never Did Anything
So Truly Stupid As Anything Like This,
which is what I say, hand-over-wheel,
because I’m always out of it alive,
base measure of stupid being "dead,
dead, dead, dead," when you say I’m running
just like this car is running when you threaten to plunge it
into any ocean where you'll sink enough,
enough that you stop singing in time
to wake up and remember to swim,

except this is the river, and that’s only Ontario,
and I always park on that side somewhere
just waiting for you 

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